I am a little more than up set right now. I am down right angry. I will get to the reason why in a bit but first I need to give you some back story. I am fat. There is no other way to say it other than I'm fat, obese actually. I have always been large. As a child I wore husky size. I don't think I can ever remember not being bigger than the people in my class. As an adult I look back at those pictures and see someone who was healthy but not obese. But I was always told that I was too fat. That I need to not eat and loose weight. My very favorite was why couldn't I be more like my older sisters. The oldest one was a cheerleader, on the dance line, and cheered in collage. The second oldest one was a pageant queen, and on a dance line. I love my sisters but at times it was hard. I have struggled with my self image for a very long time.
Now lets fast for to today. I will be forty years old in March. I have been divorced for a year. And I am what most people would consider morbidly obese. I weigh two hundred and eighty pounds. Now before I go on I need to say that I love the person who I am. To me weight does not matter at all, weight does not make the person, the personality and spirit makes the person. Let us move on to what has got me so very very mad.
I was told by my sister (the one who was the pageant queen who is now a mother of eight and weighs as much as I do now) that my Mother was running me down to a slight acquaintance. My Mother was telling someone who went to the church I grew up in but have not seen since junior high, how fat I am. My Mother was saying how ashamed of being seen with me she is. How I have to be way over three hundred pounds and how she doesn't know how I get around. THAT'S RIGHT MY VERY OWN MOTHER WAS SAYING THIS ABOUT ME.
My sister of course doesn't want me to say anything to my Mother about this because it would only cause problems between them. I was and still am very angry about this. But I think this is what I needed to put a fire under my butt and make me do something about my weight. Today I made a decision to change and by all that is in me I am going to change. I think I see DDP YOGA in my future. I ordered the tapes today.
DDP YOGA
Congratulations on your decision to be healthy first off. There are so many points to this blog I hardly no where to start. I guess I should preface this by saying that I too am Obese. I am 5'5" and weight in at somewhere over 220. I say somewhere over because I quit weighing myself at that point. I too, have always been a large gal except for a short time in my late 20's early thirties. I am so sorry your mother felt the need to degrade you in public. I know how much that hurts. My bigger problem is that your sister felt the need to tell you about it, then tell you not to say anything because it would harm their relationship. Did she think that telling you this wouldn't effect your relationship with your mother? Why is that OK? Sounds like your sister is being a bit selfish. I think if I were you I'd confront your mom in the nicest possible way. Tell her that you would appreciate her not discussing your personal life with others. If you can't confront her about her lack of discretion then there was really no point in your sister telling you was there? If she didn't want to get involved then she too should have kept her mouth shut.
ReplyDeleteNow about the DDP Yoga. Let me know how you do. I have been trying to exercise but anything that involves lifting my legs seems to be to hard on my joints with the added weight. I saw a guy on TV that swears he lost like 80 pounds doing this.
Love you just the way you are girl, Keep your chin up.
Connie H
Thanks Connie. I love you too. I am going to confront my Mom. I am just going to wait about a week. So I would have had time to run into this person. I will ler you know about the yoga.
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